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How to teach your toddler to do chores
Assigning chores to your toddler might well seem like a chore in
itself. After all, a 2-year-old isn't going to be the neatest or most
efficient worker. But giving your toddler even the tiniest measure of
responsibility now will pay off later by laying the groundwork for
future good habits. Plus, having a chore to do makes your child feel
like part of the family, someone whose contribution is valued. When
assigning chores, keep these pointers in mind:
Pick tasks that are appropriate to your child's age.
Be sure to choose simple, straightforward jobs, since your toddler
simply doesn't have the cognitive ability yet to break down a large
project into its components. Tell him to go clean his room, for
instance, and you're likely to be met with a blank stare. But he could
be responsible for one part of the job, such as putting his clothes in
the laundry basket or helping you pick up all his toys. And define
chores loosely: putting his bowl and spoon on the table before dinner
could constitute a chore, as could putting his toothbrush back in the
holder.
Toddlers want to be just like Mom and Dad, so
capitalize on your power as a role model and let your child work
alongside you as an assistant. Hand him a sponge while you're cleaning
the kitchen and let him wipe off the table. You'll find him quite
willing — even thrilled — to be called on to help.
Keep instructions low-key.
Before your child takes on a chore, demonstrate it for him, talking it
through as you go. For example, you might show him how you sort light
and dark clothing into different piles before you wash it. Remember, at
this age, chores shouldn't be so complicated that they require a
lengthy explanation. Anything that takes more than a minute to explain
is probably too difficult for your toddler to do anyway.
Stand back.
When your toddler first tries a task on his own, be patient. Jumping in
too quickly to lend a hand gives him the message that you don't think
he's capable. And never belittle his efforts. If you want to offer a
suggestion, do it kindly: Instead of saying "No, that's not right," try
"You're doing a great job sorting laundry. I like to put the brown
socks in with dark clothes, though, since they're a darker color."
Make helping a habit.
Get everyone into a routine by doing chores at about the same time
every day. For instance, your toddler's jobs might be to put his
pajamas away in the morning and pick up his toys every evening before
bed. You also might try designating a particular day of the week as
cleaning day and giving your toddler a bigger job, such as helping with
dusting or sweeping.
It helps to post a list of household
chores and who has to do them. This way your child learns that everyone
in the family contributes to the smooth running of the household. Since
your child won't be reading for a few years yet, look for a ready-made
chore chart that uses symbols instead of words to represent chores (a
broom for sweeping, a dish and dishtowel for dishwashing). A star or
sticker next to a completed chore is an ample reward, along with plenty
of praise for a job well done. And remember to adjust your child's
chores as he grows.
Whistle while you work. Getting to
spend more time with you is one of the biggest incentives for your
child to do chores, so don't send him off to work alone until he's
older and more experienced. Even if his job is to pick up the Legos in
his room, stay nearby and chat with him, or join in with your own task.
He'll appreciate your company, and you can encourage him if he loses
his focus. Make his job easier by providing easy, accessible storage
for his playthings such as clear plastic bins for toys.
Chances
are your child will think a job like sweeping is actually fun —
especially if he has his own child-size broom and dust pan. So if you
happen to view housekeeping as drudgery, don't let on. Make it a race
("Let's see who can get their toys into the box first") or sing silly
songs together.
Be sure to tell your child what a great job
he's doing and remind him how much he's helping you out. You can also
point out the benefits of his work; if he's helping you wipe the
kitchen table, you might say something like "Now it will be clean when
we sit down for dinner." This gives him a sense of accomplishment and
shows him just how significant his contributions are.
Don't expect perfection.
No child is going to perform every chore willingly every time — and
certainly not a 2- or 3-year-old! Just like grownups, kids have other
things they'd rather do besides housework. If you need to issue a
reminder, try to be friendly and matter-of-fact. Nagging almost never
works. Instead, simply say, "It's time to put away your toys. Then we
can read your bedtime story." Part of the purpose of having chores is
to develop a sense of initiative in your child, so try not to
micro-manage. Recognize that the task won't be done perfectly at this
age — and it doesn't need to be.
And above all, keep in mind
that your child has a long, long time to learn to do chores. If it
takes a few months for him to get in the hang of helping out, that's
okay. It's a skill he can use for the rest of his life.
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