Pacifiers and your toddler
My toddler is still very attached to his pacifier. Should I be concerned?
Sucking on a pacifier isn't just for babies. Many children use a
pacifier to soothe and calm themselves well into their toddler and even
preschool years. A pacifier might also serve as something experts call
a transitional object — that is, something that relieves stress and
helps your child adjust to new or challenging situations, like starting
daycare or taking a long car ride.
For the most part, there's nothing wrong with waiting until your child
is ready to discard his binky on his own. As he grows older and finds
other challenges to pursue — such as making friends, learning how to
draw, and asserting his independence — he'll develop other "big kid"
interests and be less interested in his pacifier.
He'll also
learn other ways to cope effectively. Your toddler will probably start
relying on the pacifier less and less, his need to suck will continue
to diminish, and, by around age 3, he'll probably give up the pacifier
on his own.
If your toddler attends daycare and discovers that
most of the other children don't have pacifiers in their mouth, it may
further motivate him to give up the habit. In fact, this is one area
where peer pressure may work better than parental mandates.
Of
course, being low-key about your toddler's pacifier habit doesn't mean
you should let your health standards slide. Continue to take care of the pacifier:
Rinse it off thoroughly whenever your toddler drops it and, once a day,
wash it in hot soapy water (rinse it well) or run it through the
dishwasher. Teach your toddler not to share his pacifier with his
playmates.
Inspect the pacifier often to make sure the nipple
is firmly attached and isn't deteriorating. Replace it as soon as it
begins to show signs of wear. (A nipple that pops out or breaks can
pose a choking hazard.)
What if I don't want to wait it out?
Short of banning the binky altogether, you might try to anticipate
times when your toddler will want his pacifier and provide a
substitute. If he tends to suck on his pacifier when he's bored, plan
ahead and offer him a more interesting activity. If you're waiting in
line at the post office, for example, give him a book to page through
or make funny faces at him instead of handing him his pacifier.
If your toddler tends to pop in his binky when he's feeling insecure or
worried, help him put his emotions into words. Ask him questions to
find out what's going on, and reassure him with hugs and kisses.
To curb your toddler's reliance on his pacifier, praise him when he
manages to go without one. You might also limit his pacifier use to
nighttime and naptime, telling him, "We're going to stop taking your
pacifier with us to daycare and out on errands but keep it special for
private times."
When you're ready to phase it out completely,
try using a calendar to keep track of pacifier-free days, and reward
your child with a gold sticker or an extra half-hour of reading before
bed. You could also promise your child a reward, such as a toy or time
with a video, when he amasses a week's worth of stars.
Are there any reasons for concern?
In some instances you won't want to wait until your child voluntarily
gives up his binky. For example, if your toddler seems to be developing
speech and language problems, a pacifier may make his difficulties
worse. That's because sucking on a pacifier locks a child's mouth in an
unnatural position, making it hard for him to develop and strengthen
his facial muscles normally, says Patricia Hamaguchi, a speech-language
pathologist from San Jose, California, and author of Childhood, Speech, Language, and Listening Problems: What Every Parent Should Know.
If your child is just learning to speak, talking around a pacifier may distort his speech, causing him to replace t and d sounds (which require the front of the tongue to brush up against the teeth) with k and g sounds (which emanate from the back of the throat). If a pacifier seems to be affecting your toddler's speech, willingness to talk, or social skills, you may want to cut down on his pacifier time sooner rather than later.
If you do find it necessary to banish the pacifier all at once, a visit
from the "Binky Fairy," who takes away all the pacifiers during the
night and leaves a present in their place, can be very effective. Your
child's dentist might also encourage and support your little one in his
efforts to give up the pacifier. Some dentists even have a place for
children to drop off their pacifiers and get a toy (or a toothbrush!)
in return.
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